A Note For All Who Feel Like They're Less Than They Think They Are
By Keisha
Mon 9:46pm |

"After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done." --Unknown

Ok, I'm saying this not only because I feel called to do so, but also because I think it needs to be said. This is not said enough, as it seems the opposite is circulating in our media- TVs, books, radio, and in our magazines. More often then not, we find that our youth are not happy being themselves; they are constrained to act the part of someone else and are oftentimes confused. This not only happens with girls, but the pressure to conform is often grilled into our guys too.

You've seen it-pictures of young women, having or wearing skin tight clothing that shows off their bodies, unrealistically thin waists, and ethereal beauty that doesn't exist in the typical Plain Jane. They seem SO impossibly beautiful, don't they?

That's because they ARE...Advertisements for teens and teen products are often portrayed with these characteristics....So it's not a surprise that so many young women-each with a kind of beauty all their own- eat it up. Sometimes these young women even become gluttons of these unrealistic visions that they expect for themselves; when in reality, that's all that they can be: themselves. This is not the starting point for their problems...No; the trouble really begins when they've accepted this crude belief that they have to look like the models in their magazines and on their favorite shows. Sad but true; especially in the good ol' US of A, where it's said that you can pursue the American Dream.

I have several points that I'd like to make, and I hope that this wisdom can help others that fell into the trap of low self esteem. I will not shed much light on what I've gone through, because quite frankly, I don't think you want to listen to my tale of woe. So I'll spare you it. But please, if you've felt that you don't think you can measure up to the world's standards, then forget about it. You have your own beauty; work on discovering it for yourself!

Point One: Accept who you are and stop coveting someone else's abilities or traits. This is by far the most important, and will influence the other points I shall make....

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring which you have not; but remember that what you have now was once among the things you only hoped for." --Epicurus

Perhaps this quote from Epicurus says it most; treasure what is yours, don't ruin it by coveting something else, and remember that what you've accomplished so far was only in your dreams a moment ago. What I'm trying to say is that you should be thankful for what God has given you...Don't covet someone else's beauty, their looks, or their intelligence. They're not yours: they were given to someone else because that's what sets them apart. But, that shouldn't discourage you from working to better your own skills...Put 100% (if not more) of yourself into everything that you try, and everything that you apply yourself to will be a success on your part (even if it's just sleeping or eating ;D). God made you the way you are for a reason, and until you accept His decision, you can't ever find happiness or be satisfied with yourself. So accept who you are because you cannot change it; you can only change what you choose to make of the gifts you've been given.

Point 2: Take time to be yourself...don't listen to the outside pressures that know nothing of who you are; be YOU...

"It's not what you are that holds you back; it's what you think you are not." --Denis Waitly

Listening to outside pressures can cause huge problems...You will lose yourself to the world without a second thought, should you decide to give in to the negative thoughts that these pressures surround you with. If you let yourself get caught up in the turmoil of living life to meet the world's standards, then you will miss a lot of what you could discover about yourself. Take some time out of your day and record the positives in your life, make a mental list of these, and keep them on hand for armor against the barbs of self loathing. Don't laugh; they seriously have a lot of power to them!

If you stare into a mirror, you realize that its reflection shows only what you look like on the outside. The mirror will not deceive, but neither does it tell the complete truth. What you see is only as deep as what you interpret; interpret flaws and that will be the only thing you witness...Interpret beauty, and that is only what you will see. You have to trick yourself into interpreting only the mirror's reflection as it is; a beautiful and strong young man or woman. : )

Now here comes something interesting; advice about the opposite sex.

3.) Before loving someone else, you have to learn to love yourself.

"Often it is the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them." --Herman Hesse

This is a sad truth...and one that you see most often where the opposite sex is concerned. Guys (or girls) are sensitive to your perception of how you view yourself, believe it or not. Many times, this will influence their reasons for chasing/not chasing after you. A woman or man with a strong outlook about themselves will not be a weak target, whereas the weak minded or submissive are preyed upon by the wolves of this world. The weaker individual always will gravitate to the most appealing; and, in their eyes, the strongest. Many use this as a way of bringing others down to boost their own self confidence, and alas, they often succeed in ripping the people they "care" about into little pieces from the inside out. Be the stronger one and don't give in; especially when the little voice inside your head says that it's wrong. Because if the voice says that it's wrong, then it is WRONG....

If you've come out of an abusive relationship (be it physical, mental, or emotional), you've experienced the wolves and their damaging qualities. DON"T LOSE HOPE...because one day you will have the prince that God has chosen... and this one will treat you as God intended you to be treated. : ) The old adage "There are more fish in the sea" is SO true! God loves you, and only wants the best mate possible for you. No exceptions should be made when it comes to the standards you set for that one person...

Speaking of which, AIM high! Don't settle for someone who is less than respectful, strong (both in faith and in their attitude/heart), intelligent, and loyal. If they have these qualities, then most of the time they will prove to be worth your heart. Choose someone with priorities, and with their heads in the RIGHT priorities...These will prove to be the best mates of them all! ;D

4. Know the right kind of love and refuse the wrong...

"Love is the fire of life; it either consumes or purifies." --Unknown

Don't let your passions consume you and not allow you to judge the sense of your actions. The wrong kind of love will consume you; like a match to a dry patch of grass in an arid region. You will lose who you are, and lose everything you've learned over experience. However, the right kind of love will make you stronger and will purify your life, like a shove in the right direction. This love will genuinely care about you and will help you make it through the roughest of times.

5. Be firm in all your decisions...Sacrifice selfish urges and coach others-don't tear them down.

"The willingness to sacrifice is the prelude to freedom." --Pesach Seder

Going back to the bully perspective; coach others to make yourself feel better. Bullies attempt to get attention by making themselves out to be the better person. Essentially, these people need just as much attention as the weak or submissive; perhaps even more. By coaching others besides yourself, you will in turn help yourself to freedom. The accuracy of the blind may just lead another person to wake up and find their sight. : )

Finally, keep in mind that there are people out there who suffer the same pains as you do. Find them, and learn from their mistakes. Your predecessors often know more than you think...keep close to them, for they shall lead you to the promised land... ;D

It has been a long road to discover these lessons...and unfortunately, I had to learn most of them the hard way. People are cruel; but not because they want to be. Oftentimes, they are ignorant of the right way to behave...you have to guide them with your character. Be yourself, and others will follow right behind you; don't be afraid to make mistakes, and don't loathe yourself.

Above all, don't forget to smile and keep your chin up...There is always a silver lining to every bad situation; learn to seek it.

After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder... ;D